Movie Night With Your Inner Type: Enneagram Lessons From Christmas Classics

What do Buddy the Elf and Lucy from While You Were Sleeping teach us about personality, hope, and holiday dynamics? In this cozy, joy-filled episode, Christa Hardin and I bring our Enneagram Seven energy to a conversation that blends movie magic with meaningful insight.

We unpack beloved Christmas films through the lens of the Enneagram. We're talking character types, relational patterns, and how stories help us reflect on grief, growth, and joy during the holidays.

Whether you’re baking cookies or rewatching your favorites, this episode is full of laughter, warmth, and that special kind of holiday soul-care.

If you haven't followed Christa Hardin yet or checked out all her amazing resources, go there next!

https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/

Get Your Enneagram Gift Guide and Advent Podcast Playlist- https://www.simplywholehearted.com/enneagram-gift-guide

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:02

Plans, parties, and presents. These days always seem to blur together, don't they? But what is Christmas and Advent season really all about? Well, for you, the multi-passionate woman who's seeking purpose, Advent is an invitation to take a sacred pause, to refocus on God, on you, and on your people. Welcome to the 9th annual Wholehearted Advent Podcast Series, sharing wisdom and transformation for the moments that matter most. So I'm giving an extra introduction for this special re-release because this is a conversation I had with the amazing Krista Harden that we originally recorded for her podcast, Enneagram and Marriage and Just Her Community. I think it was two or three years ago. So this episode, well, it's pure Enneagram Seven Joy. We both dive into our favorite Christmas movies, Elf and While You Were Sleeping. We talk about the movie characters through the lens of the Enneagram, and we reflect on how the stories hold both joy and grief during the holiday. It's very reflective of what we're experiencing real time. So it's a little bit of a different conversation in the way that Krista is actually more interviewing me and leading the conversation. But if you are looking for a feel-good, soul-nourishing episode that's also just downright fun, well, you're gonna love this. So I hope you continue to listen to this fun Ennegram Insight Christmas movie style conversation.

SPEAKER_01 1:51

So thank you for joining us. I don't know if you're shopping, if you're wrapping presents, if you're just like, you know what, I'm a Christmas in the July kind of a person and I'm listening in a different time. We just want to say hey, and we are going to have so much fun today with you talking about both e.l.f. Yes, we're gonna argue for elf being a rom-com, a little bit at least. And then also while you were sleeping, oh my gosh, Sandra Bullock, Bill Pullman, such a classic. My teen girls love the movie. Amy has seen it more times than I could was aware of her seeing it. I was so glad we decided on adding that movie in too, because I think you guys are gonna have so much fun with us talking about both of these movies. And not only that, but pulling out some fun purposes for us as viewers during the season too, so we can learn and grow along with these fun characters. So buckle up and get ready for a fun ride. But before you do that, make sure you grab whatever goodies you need, check out that Starbucks line, see how long it is, or go grab your popcorn, or go on your walk if you're like, you know what, already had all the sweets, need to go have my walk right now. We are here for it all with you, as always. And if you just need more support in your relationship, don't forget all of our 12 days of deals going on at Enneagramandmarriage.com. Make sure you're on our email list. And then I'm also gonna be sharing this in the episode, but absolutely make sure you're on Amy's list too. I'm putting it in the show notes because she has got such a joyful spirit, and I just wouldn't want you to miss out on this during the dark part of the year and actually any time of year, Amy is what I love about sevens, and that is the ability for sevens to refresh us and how much I appreciate that being a seven who would love other sevens to refresh me is unparalleled. So both Amy and I did have to hold back our joy a little bit here to connect. But I hope you feel it. I hope you feel it ever so much, and I hope you have a great holiday. Let's chat with Amy. Amy, thank you so much for joining us for this special EM episode today.

SPEAKER_00 3:58

Oh, I am thrilled to be here, Krista. Always a treat to chat with you, and then especially an episode that involves Christmas movies and romance. Come on.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

Oh my gosh, and how fun that we love two of the same Christmas movies, and I'm sure our audience does too. Can you tell everybody what those two are?

SPEAKER_00 4:20

Yes, uh elf and while you were sleeping, which can I just go on the record and say I imagine I've watched while you were sleeping at least a hundred times, maybe two hundred times, and that is not a seven exaggeration.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

Oh my gosh, I had no idea. That one was on my mind, and when you said it, I was like, wow, because it's not brand new, but it's coming back. Everyone loves it.

SPEAKER_00 4:46

Well, right, I think we're around the same age. So it came out when we were young teenagers, just early preteens. And I remember watching it in the theater. We had some friends, the family, that were like, oh my goodness, you guys have to go see this. And it just landed at a stage of life, probably, and became a family tradition where we would watch it. And it was just one of those for me, a good movie that I could turn on if I wasn't sleeping well. Ironically, to the title. Or if I just needed some noise in the background while you were sleeping, was my go-to for many years.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

Oh my gosh, that is so cool. And I bet just with some of the characters, I'm gonna get to dig in a little deeper on why you find such comfort with these characters. And then um, we'll talk about Elf too. But actually, since you got us started on this wonderful movie, for those listening, you guys probably know that this is a Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman movie. And I don't know if we want to spoil it for them. Should we spoil it? Oh, yeah, let's spoil it. Because people know what this is. Like, if you haven't seen it, like please go see it. It's so good. It's perfect. Yeah. Yes, but I really wanted to just say like, what do you think this that you love about this trope? Does it seem like you love those friends to love, like enemies to lovers trope? Or do you like the surprise endings? Is there anything about that that you love?

SPEAKER_00 6:19

Yeah, I think I did like the surprise ending. That's a good question. I don't think I've thought about that in in that way. What was it about that that drew me? I am really drawn to story and Krista, you know this where I'm sort of a secret closet fiction writer, if you will. I love just fun story in the the genre that I'm drawn to is this family conversational, real life depiction, but in a humorous way, right? A little bit exaggerated about how life is, whether it's the family conversation at the table or the dilemmas we face. I just think it's fun to paint those in exaggerated form, very conversational, highlighting the oddities about life and the nuances and relationships. That is just fun for me. And I think that genre that is captured in while you were sleeping is it plays to the real life. And there's so much humor sprinkled in. I cannot tell you how many one-liners my family has quoted. And not only my family of origin, because this movie is what, 30 years old, which is embarrassing. I can't believe it's we're talking about a movie we watched when we were teens. But it's it's been around for a long time. So my family of origin and then my girls. Um, but anyway, there's just so many great quotes from it. And I think when I was young watching it for the first time, the fun twist and the depiction of real life that it offered in a way that was just feel good, and also there was a couple of fun life lessons sprinkled in too.

SPEAKER_01 7:57

Wow, that's a really good point about how if you guys remember the movie, their um Sandra Bullock's character, Lucy, ends up befriending a family and they're not perfect. And I was noticing that when I was watching it yesterday, that this family has issues and some of them are unspoken. This is a low-context family that doesn't always say what they want. And I think that sometimes there's a truth teller. The elderly woman in the story is a truth teller and she's hilarious. The grandma. And so I think that it's yeah, I can't wait to enneagram this with you, but I just want to add to that that I appreciated that too because it made me look at my own family and say, okay, we're more normal than I realized first. And then secondly, I really related to Lucy's character because she had lost both of her parents. And so I was just talking to my girls about it. Like, I can't imagine losing both of my parents and not having a spouse or children. So it just made me want to like honestly love on people more who don't have somebody in it, made me instead of looking at my own list, and obviously I'm not gonna go this serious about elf probably, but it made me like look around at other people in my community. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_00 9:14

100%. And Chris, I know we were just chatting a little bit before, just this tension we feel around this time of year that we get the opportunity and we also have the challenge of holding both grief and gratitude. It's loss and celebration, it's sorrow and happiness, it's tradition and bittersweetness, right? There's there's all of these things that sometimes feel juxtaposed or a dichotomy that we're living within. And as a seven, sometimes that is exceptionally challenging. But the even just as you say here, the the invitation to take a movie and be able to relate uh her loss and grief and yet also a depiction of a joyous time where some of her dreams are realized. And and and to your point, I've thought about that too. I'm like, oh, I can't imagine how hard it would be to engage that part of your story of falling in love and not have the parent to share, at least one parent to share with. So I know both of us feel that loss um uh with in regards to you, both of your parents, with me, one of my parents, um, just in this time of year. And it's hard when you don't have that. We were created to have that nurturing, that parenting, um, at no like until the end of time, right? We will always, no matter when we lose our parent, and no matter how we lost our parent, it's tough because we were created to have that relationship. And um, there's yeah, such a gift in that. And and difficult when we're faced these times of year without them.

SPEAKER_01 10:51

It's true. And I just want to really reach out with the hug to the listeners out there who may be feeling a spirit of loneliness. Know that we are thinking of you and hoping that you, like Lucy and like we're doing, are working on that, like that very, like we said, it's this joyous seven sort of season, but also just being able to go to that four space and say, like, all right, I'm gonna need a few extra minutes to collect myself, to pray, to grieve. But then getting up and washing your face and saying, like, what are the gratitudes in my life? And I loved how Lucy, her personality type, was able to do that so beautifully that she was able to hold both that tension of loss as well as really honoring and helping and caring for others. So what type of personality did you think she had Enneagram type-wise?

SPEAKER_00 11:43

It's funny because a lot of times I go into new movies thinking about their Enneagram types, but I haven't always done it as much with movies that have just been part of my history, especially a 30-year history. So it was, I did watch it with fresh eyes again just yesterday because I had this just amazing little spot of time to have that in the background and wrap some gifts for some parties coming up and things like that. And I was like, this is so fun because suddenly I had an idea going into it, and I really was vacillating between the nine and the two when I first went into watching it. And I mean, probably within goodness, maybe 10 minutes, I very solidly landed. So I'm excited to hear what you think. But I'm like, Lucy's gotta be a nine. It just seemed to scream at just like so many different ways.

SPEAKER_01 12:41

Oh my gosh, I love it that you came to that because the girls and I did too. And we also read on a poll that somebody else had put her in as a two, and we were like, nope, we didn't land there because we felt that she was all three withdrawing types. Actually, we felt that she was probably a nine, four, five because she was in those depths like a four and sharing her pain and story with anyone who would listen. But yeah, we were just amazed by how she could care so much like a nine and yet pull back so much like a five and live her life with enough peace. And the one thing that made me feel she couldn't be a two, um, and maybe some introverted twos might beg to differ, but I didn't sense the sociability of, you know, I said it to myself, if she was a two, she might have a roommate here. Did you get any of that?

SPEAKER_00 13:29

Totally. And in fact, there were definitely um a character or two who stood out to me as a type two that I feel like showed up with a great contrast, where um I even saw that theme of needing to know her presence mattered. Her sitting by the bedside of her crush, if you will, now her fake fiance in the middle of the night, because she just I felt like it spoke to her needing to know her presence mattered and her offering her presence because she was so lonely. And that that would feed a need and a desire that she had as a nine in particular, ways that she discounted her opinion over the years or even what she desired for the greater good. Now that can be seen a little bit as a two, but I saw it more as a not a desire to help uh in a way that a two does to be get the accolade and to get the love in return. But just because she just, it was like a thing she knew she was supposed to do in showing up, and at the same time really lost herself in the process, lost some of what she desired, what she wanted, what she what she ultimately, these goals and dreams. I saw her like it's like it zapped all the inertia and the momentum from her life, the grief, the sac, you know, the sacrificing of herself with taking care of her dad, where she just like everything then went on hold. And part of this, what of the beauty of the story is her waking up to those things and that momentum coming back into her life.

SPEAKER_01 15:10

Ooh, you brought up so many beautiful points. And I'm just gonna throw in to you guys, Amy's an amazing coach. So listen how she went right past behaviors and went to the depths in the core issues. And I also think you're really probably adept at picking up nine stuff because you're married to a nine, also. Is that right?

SPEAKER_00 15:31

Which goes to show maybe why I was so drawn to that movie. And in that just like calming, peaceful element.

SPEAKER_01 15:41

Yes, the foreshadow just came full circle with the arc. Amy's in love. Don't show yes, she is, but but this movie is great. And and I think that there's some other personalities you mentioned, a two-ish character. Um, was that the mom that you noticed as a two? Yes, I did.

SPEAKER_00 16:01

Yes. The other person that I wondered as well that gets maybe not as much recognition, but I think plays such a fun role is Jerry, her boss at work. He is also, you know how typically rom-coms have like the supportive girlfriend. Well, she has Celeste, but really Jerry plays a bigger role in that, which I think is a fun way to make that that supporting character, if you will. And and Jerry is a listener. Um, I mean, there could be some other uh types to that, but just kind of that supportive role that he plays. But definitely I was thinking um both Peter and Jack's mom, and I wrote down her name, it's Midge. I don't think I had paid attention before, but it's Midge, and I'm pretty sure she's a two.

SPEAKER_01 16:48

Oh my gosh. Well, I love her, and I'm so glad that you're also expanding this because you're right. This is, you know, there's more than one two moment or persona here. And I think it's a little gentler if you're listening and your type tends to be the one, like when we talk about three, for instance, like people are like they were in an unhealthy three space versus like you're a bad three, or you're a good two, or you're a bad two. Like any of us can go to any of these spaces in health or unhealth. But I think that the twos in this movie were very healthy. And I really liked that mom. Um, I do know that she put some of her wish fulfillment on, but um, you know, she wanted this to be a marriage. She wanted to have something to deflect the fact that her son was in a coma. But I also think she was just fun and loving. And I felt that gratefulness for the main character. Did you feel that? How happy she was to have somebody like her loving her?

SPEAKER_00 17:45

Yes, and the quick invitation to and kind of enfold and encompass Lucy into the family tradition, inviting her over for Christmas. I mean, it was so immediate. That hospital scene, that's what I was thinking. I was like, oh my gosh, just totally uh an Enneagram too, and just jumping right in with kind of the uh, and again, like you said, maybe an introverted too would have a different feel. But I saw even that that kind of back and forth, that eight, eight-ness, a little bit more forceful, bossy, directing everything, but also the the inviting and and really quick to open up arms um to to welcome someone else to the family or the family traditions.

SPEAKER_01 18:30

Oh, yes, that makes so much sense. And you might know this because you've watched it more times than me, but there's a fun line in there like these mashed potatoes are so creamy.

SPEAKER_00 18:39

So creamy.

SPEAKER_01 18:40

Mary mashed them. Yeah, love that part. So, like, listeners, like, have fun with that little scene in your own favorite quibs and tell us what your favorite lines are. Now, there's a couple of other characters we might have time to discuss briefly before we move on to Elf. But um, do you want to talk about Peter or Jack next? Oh, let's talk about Peter.

SPEAKER_00 19:01

Let's talk about Peter. What type did you think he is? Okay, Peter's the one in the coma, just for the record. He's the tall, dark, handsome, classic. What as you watch the movie, you go, Oh, he is the love interest for sure. But, and again, I kind of to your point, I sometimes he's not a bad character. Like he's not the enemy or the arch nemesis or anything like that. But you see kind of unhealthy character traits in this guy at the end of the day. And I see him show up as a three, where he's very focused on career and advancement, advancement, achievement. He's got a story from his childhood that goes, oh, he was looking for significance and glory and credit. Uh, so kind of all of these things that play into, I think he really has a desire for significance and success in a way that a three, especially an unaligned three, might uh really live out in their life.

SPEAKER_01 20:03

Yes. And I like how you noticed he really had a desire for love and he really did want a fresh start. And he's like, hey, I've been living a not very good or not very aligned life. Like I am awake. And we know that's all of our Enneagram journeys, whatever negative space we're in. So that was beautiful to see him want an awakening. But of course, realistically, it wasn't very likely to happen in one day, even with a bit of possible amnesia. So I like where the story lands, but I hear you that that's definitely who we think the love interest is. He's the classic good-looking guy, and it was really set up beautifully. And I also saw that he did give up his seat on the train, and there was a good heart, which we see with our threes. So yes. Okay, what about Jack? What did you think he was in terms of type?

SPEAKER_00 20:54

Yeah, I wasn't sure at first either. And then to me, it was so clear. I was like, How did I even how why did I even ponder this for a second?

SPEAKER_01 21:02

I'm still debating between two, so I can't wait to hear.

SPEAKER_00 21:04

I think you can settle it for me. Yeah, so I landed as a type six that Jack is the loyalist, he's the steady, faithful friend immediately. So this is what was the moment where I'm like, okay, he's a six, because when he first comes onto the scene, he immediately questions the validity of Peter's girlfriend being there sleeping on the couch, and her back is turned to him. And immediately he's asking his little sister, wait a minute, that's Lucy, or that's the girlfriend that's Peter's girlfriend. And he has questions and he's investigating from a doubtful place more than an open accepting, inviting in. He just doesn't seem to be able to trust this, reconcile it. He's got a lot of doubts, and he is going to find the answer.

SPEAKER_01 21:58

My goodness. Are on point. And I love it that you got that. This is a nine-six romance. One more reason why it's a peaceful story because that is a peaceful pair. I know we've had Expedition Marriage on with that type. In fact, they just shared about their comfy couch they just bought on Instagram. It's like that is such a peaceful pairing. Jack is a furniture creator and salesman in the story. And I love that you came to six because I started with six, and then my girls were like, he's a classic five. But then I was arguing for six, and we both kind of said six wing five, five wing six. We just didn't know that space because we saw the investigating, but you're absolutely right. The questions started first and were incessant. And that's how my son is when he's in his six. And I'm gonna say in his six because we don't know if he's a six or a seven, but it's just constant contradicting and checking. And and he really, gosh, he didn't know himself fully either. You know, he wasn't, she's like, is there any reason why I shouldn't marry your brother? And he wasn't able to say because he didn't know for sure. She had to come up with that. So brilliant, Amy.

SPEAKER_00 23:13

And I do love that nod. You mentioned that he was a furniture maker, and there's something so beautiful in that, too, of way where a six, there's like an inviting essence of the six that envelope and just that nod to being a furniture maker, a rocking chair in particular. I don't know. To me, it was like, what a beautiful depiction of a six, of creating a space that would be safe and comfortable, comforting, maybe, and like a constant, loyal, right? Like rocking chair itself is indicative of tradition and a space where you go and find home. I don't know. There was just many elements of that where I think even the attraction, just kind of that where Lucy was looking for a home and a place of belonging and that her presence matters. And and Jack offers that in that way. Well, Peter might lend itself to exciting ambition and the high side for a nine or to go to that high side of the three. But at the end, she she the the beauty of just the belonging and the familiar. And it there's just so much in that pairing that I thought, oh, what a neat way that I'm sure the storytellers didn't even think about. But as we're looking at it through Enneagram lens, that makes a lot of sense.

SPEAKER_01 24:32

Oh my gosh. And and that does speak to the fact that they probably didn't even know that, but how well they did not knowing the Enneagram, because she totally comforts him. Like he's this suspicious guy and he's so loyal and he deserves a break. And we just know that he found the most pure, healthy woman, not unhealthy purity like perfection, but she's truly a good soul. And so you're like, he's gonna find his rest in her and she's gonna find the loyalty in him. And yes, he has that five kind of welding or furniture depth too, but I really think he's a six, and I love that movie. Thank you for chatting with me about it because it's amazing. So our listeners need to watch, right?

SPEAKER_00 25:14

Oh, a hundred percent. It's gotta be on your Christmas list. We, I don't know about you, Krista, but we make a list every year of the Christmas movies we really want to watch as a family. And there's a couple in there that just my husband and I watch still. We have teenagers and we still are, you know, kind of monitoring and being selective of what we watch as a whole family. But ultimately, there's a good 20 movies on there, and we have not gotten through them. So here we are a few days before Christmas, and we've got a bunch of birthdays, but it's supposed to be cold and snowy. Okay. And I'm like, all right, the birthday celebrations are going to be about sitting on the couch together watching some of these Christmas movies.

SPEAKER_01 25:55

Yes. Well, we had that with Hurricane Birthday. We had her birthdays this year. So happy birthday to you, your husband, and your daughter this December.

SPEAKER_00 26:04

Thank you. Yes, a fun week ahead. And you throw in Jesus' birthday and we just woo one party after another.

SPEAKER_01 26:11

Oh my goodness. Well, that is fun. And before we head to ELF, what is something that you guys do when you set up your movie watching? Do you guys have favorite drinks or snacks that you like to indulge in over the holidays?

SPEAKER_00 26:24

You're so fun. I we're kind of bad about this. Maybe it's because, well, that's not true. Usually Friday night is pizza night, movie night, family night. And so with teenagers, of course, that looks different these days, but we do love having our favorite pizza and it looks different every week because hello, seven, we gotta mix up our pizzas. I won't give you the full menu, maybe someday. But um, but yeah, but we love there's kind of a ritual where I have learned now because we have such a hard time agreeing. I'm like, guys, pizza is like 10 minutes away from being done. Choose the movie now. So we're not sitting there arguing about what movie to watch and our pizza's getting cold. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 27:10

And it is sometimes so you do have to prepare what movie it's get it started. And I love how you said have the yummy, delicious food to go with that. Pizza is a staple. I love that you reminded us of that. So get your pizza on if you want an extra good movie watching time, right?

SPEAKER_00 27:30

Yes, a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_01 27:32

Ah, yay! Okay, well, now we get to jump into e.l.f. Because that is literally a classic. And my son and I watched it this morning, and we said it may just be our favorite Christmas movie out there. Now, sevens like a lot of movies, and we say a lot we do. A lot of them are favorites. I saw your beautiful Instagram post, and you've got a lot of favorites too. Yes, I do. Yeah, but easily 10, right? Yes, absolutely. So tell me what you think that our listeners need to know about just the whole trope of e.l.f. And just take a second to think about why do you think people really like e.l.f.?

SPEAKER_00 28:10

You know, it's really interesting. It kind of goes to that deeper finding that we found in while you were sleeping, where the characters evolve. There is that growth that we see happens, the extreme version of who they are, and they find themselves, they awaken to what it is they really want or what is aligned, what is truly what they value. And so each of the characters go on a journey, uh, which is not always typical with such a large cast, I would say, because there's multiple characters in their growth journey. It's not just about one, it's just not just about a hero. There's a lot of them finding themselves along the way. So I think that's just fun to watch people where see where they start and go, oh, there's hope for all of us. We don't aren't all stuck in our coping mechanisms, right? Which is what we're preaching all the time.

SPEAKER_01 29:06

Yeah, you're right. I didn't even think about that. How, and that's something we can't even capture on this short episode. So make sure you watch these if you just need to see characters who end up deciding to be true to themselves, whatever the cost, knowing that if it's hard, it's gonna be hard, but at least they're gonna be a people of integrity and people that choose goodness and what is right. Like those, I think you're right, are themes that we see and they're character-driven stories in a way. Yes, the plots are important, but I think you're right. It's about the people. And who are your favorite people on this movie?

SPEAKER_00 29:40

Oh, well, I mean, come on, Buddy the Elf, he's just so much fun. The innocence, I think that's what I love about it as a seven. And spoiler alert, I absolutely think Buddy the Elf represents a seven. Yes, I do with you. The the sweetness, the just childlike joy, unabashed joy. And I think us, any sevens who is are listening or those who love a seven well can just know that there's an element for some of us where we're holding back. We're holding a little bit of that, yeah, right? That desire for excitement. Uh, I h I held a virtual Christmas party just this last week for my online community. And I had this fun little idea. I'm gonna use little snippets from the elf in my invitation and in the like, hey, you know, this party's coming out. But as I was taking out these little clips and, you know, making them gifies or gifs or whatever we call them, right? Um, I it just was like, that is me. That is what I'm feeling like on the inside when it comes to Christmas, when it comes to celebration, when it comes to connecting with people. And I know that I've believed the message sometimes that I'm too much in that way. So I hold back a little bit. But Buddy the Elf to me represents like just the full on here I am, full seven and all the joy involved.

SPEAKER_01 31:13

Yes, absolutely. How comforting for anyone who has a seven in their tri-type, or like you said, loves the seven to get to see this is acceptable and not only acceptable, but very refreshing. Now, some of the levels he takes it to because of, you know, when we when we reveal the story arc that he really is from the North Pole, of course it comes off as incredulous, but his joy is downright infectious. And I am so glad that you're right that we see that joy has a place. And you read a beautiful Mary Oliver quote to me earlier today. If you don't mind sharing that, I think this is a perfect spot for it because you talk about how when we have some joy, let's let's let it let's let it lose sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 31:59

Oh, yeah, spot on, Krista. I read it this morning in my devotion, and it's um the poet Mary Oliver, and it's from her um Don't Hesitate, and it's Swan Poems and Prose Poems. It came out in 2010. So if you want to look for more from her, but this one quote is if you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don't hesitate. Give in to it, don't be afraid of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb. Oh my gosh, it's just there's so much there.

SPEAKER_01 32:39

Oh, that's beautiful. And it's a great reminder to all of us to not be afraid to show it if we have it, if we even want to have grief and joy on the same day, like go ahead and let that joy be shared with others. And of course, there's gonna be some who choose not to, and you can't force it upon people, but there's a lot of people that will love to share your joy. And we saw in the movie some of them are gonna be kids, and some of them are gonna be like the Mary Steenberger um mom figure in the story. So we think Buddy is a seven, and we see that wonder and that joy. Um, maybe some excess with the sugar on the spaghetti. But just a little bit. What about um I also saw Leslie um from Parks and Rec do that this week and I was like, oh my gosh, hilarious. So what do you yeah, what do you think the mom is? Because she's hilarious too with how she's so nurturing.

SPEAKER_00 33:35

She is crazy nurturing. And I I kind of came out with a two with a strong one wing, right? A little bit of that pull to be proper and right. There is there is enough demureness, is I think the word that adequately describes where she also has held back, pulled back from herself. Um, and but as I say that, I also could say, oh, maybe she's a nine-wing one. So I'd be curious to hear what you think. But I've to me, what came to mind for sure in an immediacy was the two-wing one.

SPEAKER_01 34:12

I actually love it and I had thought too, Ness, but I did not even go there with the wings. And I really like it because she really had an ethical principle of like working so much full time. I see your house, it's gorgeous. And I have several two-wing ones in my life that have very similar busy schedules like that, and yet, yeah, they manage to have a schedule that invites in love so much that I was thinking this is so unrealistic at first. Like the fact that she would invite in with such joy somebody's adult son, but not when you put it in the context of two wing one, because they honestly are like, Well, let me see, let's see what this is about, let me see if we can do anything. I love that.

SPEAKER_00 35:00

And even that sense of it was the right thing to do to be so hospitable and accepting, it she clearly, like in theory, she had to have done some reconciling of knowing her husband had some sort of past. Because all of a sudden, if my husband was like, Yeah, so I have a grown son from a previous relationship that I knew nothing about, don't think I would be as warm and accepting. Right. But she definitely went to that, you know, right away.

SPEAKER_01 35:33

Yeah, and that might even be a testament to some of her three wing of just like, hey, you know what? Everyone has some secrets in their past. Like, yeah, I have the openness, and I think ultimately we want to share both wings. So I love that you really shared. Yeah, she leans really hard on that one. But just for all of us to remember her generous example, I think is what speaks to me about her. And then what about her husband, Walter, the book publisher? I loved watching his story arc. What did you think about him? Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:06

Okay, so I wrote two numbers here because I wasn't sure. I think I might err more on the side of an eight because his tendency to plow over people to get things done and have very little regard for emotion or how other people might feel. He was just gonna do what not just his path to success, but what he he had his focus on and what he was gonna do. And it just, whoever was gonna stand in the way, you better move. Of course, over time there was an opening to his vulnerability, being honest with himself, no longer engaging in denial about his past, about the possibility of him having a son, him opening his heart to his son, kind of all of those different things. And at the end, he put his family first and he let go of some of those things and engaged with his heart and his emotions with those that needed the priority of that.

SPEAKER_01 37:15

Yeah, I think you've got it. And you're right, it's it's gonna be between a couple of types because we don't get to see every layer of his heart. We don't know if he's so concerned about vulnerability only, or is he so concerned about inadequacy and the five space? But what we see is the eight presentation. And so I like how you remind us of like, yes, there's some right and wrong injustice, like a one, but the truth is the eight really shines out with I'm gonna give kind of this dictator, like, I know what I'm doing. Here are the plays, I'm following these plays no matter what. Unfortunately, his son Michael thinks it's because he doesn't love them. And I'm like, no, he loves you. He's just trying to work for you all way too hard and way too much. And he's forgetting the innocence, which is so important for an eighth's development. So I think you're right on for his eight story. But did you love seeing his innocence come out over time? Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 38:13

And that's what I think it that eight, seven pairing, even how that can be there, can be um a little bit of a rub and tension there, but it also can bring about the best, some balance to the seven enthusiasm. And the seven can offer life and joy and frivolity, the childlikeness to the eight, reclaiming, because the eight really oftentimes that's their story is they need to reclaim some of that feeling of childlike wonder and odd and simplicity and openness that the seven seems to easily just boo, here we are.

SPEAKER_01 38:47

Yeah, like who cares what people think of me, like this is me. And the eight needs to borrow that. But you're right, the seven needs to borrow some of that grounding from the eight into reality, into what is and um how we can relate with respect to others and have healthy boundaries. So I love that. And I love that he shows us the most beautiful example of when eight goes too strong but soft, I it just melts an audience's heart, which is why I think it's probably one of the biggest reasons it's one of the best movies.

SPEAKER_00 39:20

Yeah, the redemption piece, such a gift.

SPEAKER_01 39:23

Yes, and we have this is an Enneagram and marriage podcast, and we have a marriage also in this movie. So the last character I wanted to discuss was Jovi and who you think she's looking like. And tell me a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_00 39:39

Okay, well, I had to say she's gotta be a four. I saw the with drawing element for her, the in and a little bit of that distress. So maybe the five, and I could be way off, but I also just there is a and maybe I could be mixing up some of her character with her her um the actual person is Zoe Dashnell. Is that how you say your last name? It's hard. Yeah, yeah. That's what I mean. Maybe, yes. And she's a singer and you know, kind of a collectic person, but I feel like that element came through where she's dissatisfied with her job, her life, who she is. She's put off by anyone who is going to give these overly flirtatious uh vibes, um, overly enthusiastic vibes. But then she does kind of allow and she's accepting of the unique, the oddity that elf really presents, right? I mean, just total oddball. But it almost attracts her at the end of the day, going, Well, you're you really are odd. You're not just trying to be, you really are unique and different. And I think there's maybe some of that where she what that's kind of maybe even what attracted her, not necessarily his energy and enthusiasm, but the uniqueness of who he was and never having encountered someone like him. So um, those were my initial thoughts. How about you?

SPEAKER_01 41:06

You know, I really like that. And I took it as at first, I took it as that she was a nine-wing eight in her four-wing five space. Yeah. But I could see you share that. I'm thinking about one critical difference between nines and fours, is that nines often really enjoy the classic, which I guess Christmas is a classic feature in culture, but there is a sense of like, what is everybody doing? And let me do that well. Like, if there's a really good brand, I want to know the brand, I want good quality, and I want to be part of that. I want to wear the colors that are socially acceptable. And I'm not saying you can't have some flair, but you're right in the fact that she was so eager to put on like a whole new persona and become part of this imagination station life, does speak very for. And so I like how she's definitely in her four-wing five space. And also some of her is in the nine space of I felt like she was like, you know, I I don't I do have a voice, but I don't use it for others. So I definitely saw the withdrawing type no matter what.

SPEAKER_00 42:11

Yeah, I agree. Yes, and Buddy definitely pulled her out of that space and into just the the lightheartedness again that he offers.

SPEAKER_01 42:23

Yes. And you know what's funny is this is funny, our glow pairing of seven and nine, buddy and her, we call that one merry and bright, which is funny that we call that Christmas. So we call the four and seven the beautiful adventure. So they really did have a beautiful adventure. So I think that's probably a little closer. And did you think that um they had any growing together? Did you think their romance had its own story?

SPEAKER_00 42:53

Absolutely. And again, that's where I saw that four element for her of her, like um the four is not easily going to just like dive into connection and relationship. I feel like there's a little bit where you got to get um the trusting there to be so vulnerable as a four with love to to know that they belong and to know that it's also a safe place to belong to, and also wanting to double check the authenticity of the other person. Like, are you for real? And I I kind of felt that questioning and that process with her going, is this guy for real, or is he just, you know, being a crackpot or whatever? I don't even remember what words that she used, but um, but yeah, just the the beauty of them um ultimately her trusting her willing to be herself with him. And then also that leveling and grounding in a way um that she brought like the realest nature to the seven, but in a way that wasn't uh a joy kill or a budget. Kill. It was just a like just this happy um level again, that leveling out of going, Hey, you can be unique and crazy, but also this is what works in the real world.

SPEAKER_01 44:15

Yeah, you're right. And there wasn't a total merging, it was more of a accepting, like I'm still me and he's still him. And to me, that's the best marriage because Wes and I have tried to change each other. But what I like better is our glow when we just naturally rub off. Because when we try to change each other in marriage and we force it a little bit, it can become just I've noticed it just unravels later anyway. So I think they have a very healthy story that they're just allowing that to come together as it does. And and they care about each other. And I love that you remind us of the ways that she grows him too. So um, before we end, do you have any favorite scene from Elf that you just want to remind listeners? Make sure you watch this one part.

SPEAKER_00 45:04

Probably the most infamous or notable is the spaghetti for breakfast scene. My kids have talked about that, and I think there's a a YouTuber who did try out the ingredients, and I want to say it's spaghetti noodles and syrup and maybe ice cream toppings. I don't even remember. It's all like it's so gross. As a mom, I'm gagging and thinking it's terrible. But my kids have said multiple times, I think we should try that. So I still have this idea of maybe one day for breakfast, I just as a joke, write an April Fool's or something, fix an elf breakfast and see if they really do like it and what they think.

SPEAKER_01 45:51

Oh my gosh, that is such a fun idea. And then you could have like the real breakfast nearby. Exactly. Like, look, I've got to send you off like this. But I had to just get your reactions on video. Like if you had a little video camera, like your phone setup, that would be so cute. Wouldn't it be funny? I love that. Well, thank you, Amy, so much for joining me. It was so extra fun on this week when my girls and I were homebound a little bit because we had a cold. So thank you so extra much for this extra special time. And then tell us where our listeners can get in touch with you because I think they're probably just like me, super impressed with you.

SPEAKER_00 46:34

Oh, you're so kind, Krista. Well, I am known as Wholehearted Enneagram on Instagram. And whenever you come over, say hey, whether it's a recent post, I love to reply back to you or just send me a direct message and let me know that you got to hear me first on Krista's podcast. And if you follow, I always send a um a message to welcome you. And I want to learn about your Enneagram type and how you heard about the space. So I'd love to see you there for sure.

SPEAKER_01 47:06

Oh, that is so beautiful. I love your one-to-one heart. And also I love your email newsletter. I love your subject lines. They just invite joy into my life. So I want to invite people to check her newsletter out too.

SPEAKER_00 47:19

Are you on uh your website is yes, it's simply wholehearted.com, like my podcast. And funny little note, Krista. You happened to give a quote from while you were sleeping about the mashed potatoes. And I recently did two fiction episodes. So I came out of my closet, I shared some of my fiction pieces, if you will. And um, one of that line about the mashed potatoes are so creamy, it made it into one of those episodes. So they just for the Christmas season, super fun for the whole family with some Enneagram tivots in there.

SPEAKER_01 47:56

That's awesome. And you know, we're gonna be having you back, as you know, in 2023, where we are going to get to have our listeners maybe even hear a sneak peek of the fiction. So we'll see about that. I can't wait though.

SPEAKER_00 48:09

Yes, same here, Krista. Thank you so much for the gift of being here, getting to talk about some of my favorite movies. You're just a dear friend and you're the real deal. And I so appreciate that about you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 48:22

You are too. And our friendship is a treasure to me. And I hope our listeners had some joy with us. I know I sure did. Yay! Same here.

SPEAKER_00 48:30

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. As you go, friend, may you slow down, savor the moments that matter most, and make space for Christ to meet you right where you are. And if you need a little more support this season, you can download the free wholehearted gift giving guide or book a clarity call to help you find peace and presence in your own story. Merry Christmas! And remember, your wholehearted story is still being written!